sci.research.careers

Great stuff, Phil. Cracked me up.

===== no change to below, included for reference and context =====

On Thu, 26 Jul 2007, phil scott wrote:

> Difference Between Women And Men
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> If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
> call
> each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
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> If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer
> to
> each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
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> OUT
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> When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a
> $20, even though it's only for $ . None of them will have
> anything
> smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
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> When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
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> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
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> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on
> sale.
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> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
> razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
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> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
> A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
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> A woman has the last word in any argument.
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> Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
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> Women love cats.
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> Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
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> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
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> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
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> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
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> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.
>
>
> UP
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> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
> garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
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> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
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> Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
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> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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> Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
> secret
> fears and hopes and dreams.
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> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
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> FOR THE DAY
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> Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
> people
> remembering the same thing.
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> AND FINALLY....
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> A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
> word.
> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
> wanted
> to concede their position.
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> As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband
> asked sarcastically,
>
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> "Relatives of yours?"
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> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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>